Coming of Age

I am currently having a lot of fun looking up all sorts of information, articles, ideas, pictures, and pages to include in my Book of Shadows once it arrives.

My research has taken a more or less winding path through Paganism, and I started looking up rites of passage rituals.  There's a wiccaning or saining, comparable to the Christian baptism, and of course there's handfasting which is a Pagan form of a wedding.  What I wanted to find was a sort of coming-of-age rite of passage ceremony.

I found a few rituals for a coming of age ceremony, however, since I don't have children yet, I don't know how they'll take to an all-out ritual in front of their family, especially since both sets of grandparents are Christian if not Christian-based in spirituality.


I'm in my early twenties, and I still remember starting my menstrual cycle for the first time, and how freaked out I was by it.  I also remember how immune my mother was to my horror and fear, and how she showed no compassion.  Not to be too crude, but I was given a tampon and asked, "Don't you know how to use one of these?"  At 13, my answer was, "um...no?"

That wasn't my only "coming of age" moment.  And even though that milestone in my life was memorable (albeit not in a good way), I personally didn't see it as my coming of age moment.  I saw my 16th birthday as the day I officially became a woman.  Maybe it's because it's the day I could legally get my license and drive without my parents, who knows.  But I saw my 16th birthday as a milestone.

Again, my parents did not share my opinion of this milestone.  I asked for a pearl necklace.  In my opinion every young lady should have a proper pearl necklace.  But there was no ceremony in my 16th birthday, no special formality or pomp and circumstance.

I think rites of passage are important, both for the individual and for the friends and family close to the individual going through those rites.  Through my research I've found that, at least for a girl, a mother-daughter spa day may be enough.  Or a special party to celebrate the milestone of being able to drive or whatever.

I want to celebrate my childrens' lives with them as they grow, and I hope to help them find joy and peace in their growth, especially through the tough times of being a teenager.




If you have any ideas for coming of age ceremonies or adventures or rituals or whatever, for girl or boy, please leave a comment!