Background

Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Saturday, August 2, 2014

I am a Crunchy Granola Flower-Child (Apparently)

It has recently come to my attention that I may be a little crunchy given my current location (the South).



Urban Dictionary defines crunchy as an adjective.
"Used to describe persons who have adjusted or altered their lifestyle for environmental reasons. Crunchy persons tend to be politically strongly left-leaning and may be additionally but not exclusively categorized as vegetarians, vegans, eco-tarians, conservationists, environmentalists, neo-hippies, tree huggers, nature enthusiasts, etc."

Although that definition doesn't define me very well, Urban Dictionary's definition of granola is a little closer:
"an adjective used to describe people who are environmentally aware (flower child, tree-hugger), open-minded, left-winged, socially aware and active, queer or queer-positive, anti-oppressive/discriminatory (racial, sexual, gender, class, age, etc.) with an organic and natural emphasis on living, who will usually refrain from consuming or using anything containing animals and animal by-products (for health and/or environmental reasons), as well as limit consumption of what he or she does consume, as granola people are usually concerned about wasting resources. Usually buy only fair-trade goods and refrain from buying from large corporations, as most exploit the environment as well as their workers, which goes against granola core values. The choice of not removing body hair and drug use are not characteristics that define granola people, and people, regardless of granola status, may or may not partake in said activities. This definition is sometimes confused with hippy."

Since I'm in school, I don't really have a lot of time to devote to some of the above-mentioned causes, but I have begun noticing that my values follow these basic parameters.  I don't consider myself strictly liberal, however I am Libertarian (I tend to agree with Conservatives about economics but with Liberals about social issues).  I'm pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, pro-LGBT, and soft-core feminist.  I just bought a pair of Vibram Five-Fingers for that barefoot feel, and I plan to cloth-diaper my future offspring. 

I believe everyone has a right to his/her opinions, values, and beliefs, even if they don't correlate with mine, as long as nobody tries to force their beliefs on me.  I believe in responsibility, liberty, freedom, and I believe in earning an honest living.  I also believe that some people really are the product of their upbringing and that there is a scary amount of grief, sadness, and hatred in the world.  I believe that too many stupid people procreate when they shouldn't and that not enough smart people procreate when they should.  I believe that a great number of people on government aid "take advantage of the system" because that's the only thing they were ever taught to do and it's all they know.  I believe that a great number of middle class Americans abhor lower class Americans because they don't understand the complexities of the situations those people deal with and they blame the challenges of the many on the wickedness of the few.  I believe that lower class and middle class citizens are engaged in completely separate cultures that rarely intersect, and each set of people doesn't understand the culture of the other.

The biggest problem I have is that I don't have an answer.  I can't fix the world's problems because even though I can define them, I don't know how to make a change.  I don't know what a perfect and fair world would look like.  This is why I like studying dystopian societies so much.



So anyway, that's me, the crunchy granola flower-child.  Peace, love, and happiness, y'all.

Friday, July 18, 2014

Affirmations to Work on Me

I'm awesome.  I don't mean to sound stuck-up or snobby, but I have a hard time practicing positive self-talk so I need to get this out.

The truth is, if I don't tell myself I'm awesome or that I'm interesting or that I deserve to be happy and loved, who is going to tell me?  Well, my husband has been telling me for a few years now, but somehow my own self-doubt tends to cloud his well meaning compliments.  I won't believe my husband until I can actually compliment myself and mean it.



So, therefore, I am awesome.  I'm an interesting person.  I deserve love and happiness.  I'm not happy with how my body looks, but I am consistently working out and eating healthier so I'm working on improving my physique.  I am articulate and creative and I will be a great middle school and/or high school teacher when I graduate next spring.  I am determined so even though my full-time internship in the spring terrifies me, I will push forward and conquer that internship, and I will be awesome.

Because I'm awesome and interesting and deserving of love and happiness, I will crush my workout this afternoon.  Because I'm interesting, I will be comfortable with myself in my house alone this evening while my hubby is at work, and I will enjoy this Friday evening.  Because I deserve love and happiness, I will find and do something that makes me happy and inspires me.  Because I'm awesome.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Lost Poems

I wrote poetry in high school.  Surprising, I know. 

I just found my poetry notebook and decided to publish some of the poems on my blog here to see if anyone finds inspiration from them.  They're written in the style of e.e. cummings and may be hard to follow.  I will say that half the time, I didn't really write them to be understood comprehensively; rather, I wrote them to reflect a general feeling or emotion and that should be evident in the poem.


So here goes nothin'!

1
snake with me this time,the weight of your
body sends secret thrills down my spine

(i shiver)send me arching back to nowhere

you smile towards(neverending shivers)me,the
sky opens up into everything(but nothing)

i trace the contours(is your favorite color blue?)of
your lips,your savoring time is my love

i must leave you behind,my secret caress
leaves you looking forward wishing back to
yesterday's tomorrow,today.


2
his chills,not visible;felt
within my eyes(alone) are weary

nothing more than loathesome
lest(my secret shinings the night)my love
senses so sensitive;narrows shone the light

boy

slipping into arching back
finality lingering in luscious groves

girl

get a grip,show some skin
soothings abundance in drifting(times
in my meanings opportunity)nothing less than love.


3
we fear(ever so closely)this discretioning others
somewhere to minds' turn,axis dipped a mourning
he to whom the seas providing paths take

slumbers the laughtering stars
(are they tears from tomorrow?)past

the fulcrum carries the lock,my key to
nowhere's fantasies meet

matters most the blooming crocus(life the
bourners knew)lovers paradise,my heart's vector
streaks skyward to nevers end

rummages a love mixed sweat with lonelinesses mass.


4
lost(of presently)thoughts abiding,closed in
rejected silence undermining words not spoken

words of worn most humbly;breathed forgiveness
fresh vigilance shinings honor softly spoken anew

facts afronting(gazes turned)meshed loss;to love
you would be murder,my dear robust fiend of night

I love you.

my hearts protest fondly of your thoughts,your gaze
melting glaciers within the burners set to default freeze


5
this(shall we say?)straight curve to happiness lusts

near noon(not yet,my dove)she fears
beginnings lead to ends in time of need

cracked seas transfixed to lovers lost to sight of sound
sensual(binds)beauty of the body never soulful

do you,in choleric disobedience lie?my
hands be still the shaking molds in
broken innocence;childish wisdom prevail
the tattered dawning of death's night's forever.


6
soul which turns dizzy,fallings the right light by day
by night that which burns is holy(which candles am i
to blow out?)wrong winds favorable the circumstances nigh

eyes to search horizons match the heart;my sight dips
(skyward)to the ground,that which steps to crumpling
leaves the beautiful fall in turmoil sighs,arming the night

do i but want?tremble the sturdy branches
of life,of love,of happiness meets loneliness in the
shadows(hide her softly)lightly rolling on in torrents

come to love the wildflower,azaleas dance the sweet rain to sleep.


7
my love(crush me softly)face a shimmering memory in my
mind over matters least the physical,collective patience
willing of sharpened senses turned toward heaven seek

truth of one so mysterious,easy to read but(difficulty)
comprehends for sake's time in dire need

mesh two souls in won,the war of intellectual thought
processing like meat of today's conscience(sliced too
thin)self confidence slinking in shadows laid
bare(skin) in wasted sterile light too sickly

does he in shameless darkness feel?the crush
successful when childrens the sharing life.


8
children's laughtering voices fly on wishful wings
wrestle my mind,tireless in four(normality
two disagrees)intoxicating grenadine's must see you
through;what do you feel?

unlike any of your kind(in tireless droves they
swarm)essence of cruelty losts its gains to those
unknown order of respect

see me(do you?)for futuristic loves desired;in you
i see me the lost yet found number inferred

to dust and passing the flying crow in succumbing to
nerves,less squelched by shattering(life)stresses the
inward flowings emotional coasters die.


9
moments neverending in thoughts,always hiding behind
walls(in partial timidity)peeks the hiding emotions lie
awaiting the pretense,natural gaze hazel's spirit rises
ceasing breath(inhalations forgotten)time turns endlessly

broken in shadowing darkness(only to me)i see
you cryings the injustice,to act as if eyes are your
only sense(my sweet,please kiss me)enthralling me

live yet another inspiration so bright

in moonlight(it shines)down hair whispering to your hazel
sense the mourning laughter flies on silent wings,kissing
me softly in secrecy,i only know

oblivion flows like diamonds.


10 (written 10/11/2006)
landest in deepening thoughts do lie,in tattered ties
too deep(you're)focusing a picture too fuzzy(new age
dawning?)suspenseful in droves

civilizings the disobedience;whose intro's the wrong

tirings circumferenced;honest lies do take the hand
behold(my dear,your words are lovely)the hearts jaded
request:do you value(your life is everlasting)entertainments
the world in cavernous claustrophobia longs in color my soul

my tiresomes the opinion in your womb,lock the door's
key inside the minds roaming winds in sultering freeze
my heart longs for your touch.