In my very first blog post, I went into a little detail about what it means to me to call myself episopagan. I've decided to go into a little more detail here.
As I said before, I grew up Episcopalian, which is an apostolic denomination of Christianity (other apostolic denominations include Catholicism, Anglican, Lutheran, etc.) What I was taught was that an apostolic church is one that believes in and is a part of an apostolic succession. Apostolic succession is the belief that if a priest in one of these denominations traces his ordination lineage back through the years, that the first bishop to be ordained in that church was one of the Apostles of the Bible.
In high school, I was very religious and rather judgmental towards my peers. Most of the people I grew up with were Christian, so I was most judgmental about them calling themselves Christian but not "acting like it." If I'd taken a look at myself, I would've realized that I wasn't really "acting like it" either.
I grew out of that phase, and out of being religious in my first years of college. Since I'd moved away from home, I didn't have my parents waking me up and making me go to church every Sunday, so I didn't go.
After a while I decided I'd rather be classified as spiritual, and not religious. I'd heard this phrase thrown about rather lightly for a while, and I'm not sure I knew exactly what it meant to me at the time. Now, it means that I'm not completely enthralled with an organized religion, and that I feel like the one-size-fits-all approach doesn't cut it. My spirituality and my relationship with God is unlike anyone else's relationship with God. No one can tell me or anyone else that they don't believe something or that they don't know God, because they simply have no idea and have no way of knowing what's in each persons' heart. That's knowledge only God holds, and rightfully so.
As I mentioned in my first post, I made friends with some people who called themselves Pagan. I found over time that I agreed with a lot of their beliefs, and I started reading and doing some of my own research. I read "The Path of a Christian Witch" by Adelina St Clair, and even though the book only took me about an hour to read through, it really struck a chord with me. I started reading pretty much anything I could get my hands on to better understand how I could blend Christianity with Paganism, and I'll make sure to include a reading list at the end of this post for anyone who is curious.
I have dedicated myself to a year and a day of study to explore my blended path and to decide whether this is the right path for me. My year and a day is up this coming July, and I'll most likely have a private ceremony with some friends to commemorate the time I've spent studying, and to celebrate the beginning of a long and fruitful journey.
Through my studies so far, my beliefs (or what I thought I believed) have been challenged and have changed, for the better as far as I'm concerned. I still pray, I listen to Christian radio (it relaxes me and I feel it can bring me closer to God/dess), and I go to church when I can based on my work schedule. But I don't take everything I hear for granted. I will go back and do my own research and figure out what I really believe about something and how I really feel.
I will write more on this subject later. For now, I feel this is a good introduction into my spirituality, and I'll tackle how my beliefs have changed in a later post.
As promised, here's a reading list for anyone who may be interested:
The Path of a Christian Witch
ChristoPaganism: An Inclusive Path
Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner
Paganism: An Introduction to Earth-Centered Religions
Cunningham's Encyclopedia of Magical Herbs
The Encyclopedia of Crystals
Natural Witchery
Cottage Witchery: Natural Magick for Hearth and Home
Lost Scriptures: Books That Didn't Make it Into the New Testament
Water, Wind, Earth & Fire: The Christian Practice of Praying With the Elements
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